Posted: September 18th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: date younger women, dating advice for men, dating tips for guys, dating younger women, how to ask out a girl, how to get a girlfriend | No Comments »
What type of relationship do you want? Do you want a harem? A few reliable FB’s? Looking for one special person?
Some men want to rack up numbers. The want the excitement of the chase, the thrill of the conquest, the satisfaction each notch brings.
Other men don’t want the hassle of meet a constant stream of new women- but they still relish variety. They enjoy the company of a few ladies. No agendas, no strings; just fun.
Then there are those who just want to connect with one quality woman. A special lady they can commit to and settle down with. A person to share their life with.
If you’re looking for a stable of women, you’ve got to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to go out and hustle all the time. You’re only going to “close” a small percentage of women you meet, so you have to meet lots and lots of women.
But if want a “soul-mate”.. that one person who will be your perfect compliment, then you have to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to hustle. Remember the structure of the sales funnel – many leads, less qualified prospects, a few buyers. The “sniper” approach (where you set your sights on just one target) is ludicrous; because like the song says, “you can’t always get what you want”. If you invest all your resources in sparking something with one lady, you’ll be back to zero if the relationship doesn’t catch and you have an empty pipe-line.
*Fortunately, there ARE ways to streamline the process and maximize your rewards.
What type of girl are you attracted to? They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, flavors and personality profiles. At life’s buffet, sampling is a wonderful thing. You steer clear of the things you don’t like and go back for more of what you do.
I personally don’t believe in the concept of the “perfect soul-mate”. I think everyone has a checklist of things that are important to them, and there are scores of candidates that possess those qualities in varying degrees. There were times as a young man when I was nursing a heart-ache after a break-up with the “perfect girl”. Then I’d meet some other girl, who also had attributes I liked in a different ratio, and I’d start going out with her.
Point being: there are lots of girls who’ll fit your criteria – you have to know what kind of girls you’re looking for so you don’t waste energy chasing the wrong ones.
I’d caution you not to be too specific in your checklist, though, because you’ll be missing out on a lot of great opportunities to meet and date wonderful, quirky, cute girls who would appreciate your company.
For me, the checklist went like this:
REQUIRED – No Negotiation
- Must be born female (no hermaphrodites, no Franken-ginas,)
- Not currently married (been there, and its not worth the risk of getting shot)
- No contagious diseases or active addictions (speaks for itself)
- Height in proportion to weight (a nice way of saying no anorexics, no fatties)
- Sense of humor (and more specifically, who understands mine)
- Younger than me (I love puppies. *shrug*)
- Easy going
So think about what kind of girls you’re attracted to, what type of relationship you’d like to be in , and what price you’re willing to pay in order to make it happen. Knowing what you want is the first step towards meeting the girl of your dreams
Posted: September 12th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: date younger women, dating tips for guys, dating younger women, how to attract a woman, how to attract women, pick up women | No Comments »
This post deals with the 7 essential factors you simply must attend to BEFORE you go out into the field to pick up women.
Even though it feels crappy to step back and admit some flaw, that’s the first step towards self-improvement -which is a very noble pursuit. You don’t need to achieve perfection before your approach a woman; just honestly work on making improvements. You do want every advantage, don’t you?
- Look at some old pictures. If you still have the same hairstyle, you need to get your ass in a barber’s chair ASAP. An inappropriate coif broadcasts that you’re lamentably out of touch. With a spiffy new doo, you’ll look better, feel better and actually carry yourself better.
- If you’ve got a mullet, or worse yet, a skullet (bald on top, long in back, aka Hulk Hogan), your lack of self awareness is a problem; you are the object of scorn and derision . Same for the comb-over… you’re not fooling anyone, and everyone is laughing at you. Long hair / pony tails are only acceptable if you’re a licensed yoga instructor or a professional musician (keep in mind that even Bon Jovi and Metallica cut their hair). Over 30 and still sporting a mop-top? Its sloppy, my friend. If you’re tired of waiting for the bald spot in back to meet up with your receding hairline, take some initiative and shave your head. Its a lot cooler.
- Pay special attention to your eyebrows, as well as hair in your ears and nose. Invest $15, get a trimmer and use it. Today.
- Facial Hair- some men can get away with it. Most can’t. Its not really a happening look- think of the guys that have facial hair: homeless guys, Mall Santas (see ‘homeless guys’), mountain men, orthodox jews, Colonel Sanders, …. Moustaches are either novelties (outlaw biker Fu-Manchu, Snidley Whiplash) or will make you look like a cop.
- Manicure- some men do, some men don’t; its up to you. At the very least, your nails should be nicely trimmed and free of any grease or dirt.
- Body Hair – There are a dozen different systems to help a guy clean up. But even if you embrace your hairy-guy genetics, you MUST to clean up the hair on your neck and shoulders. Stripping off all body hair is only acceptable for competitive body-builders and swimmers.
- NEVER use Nair on your apple bag. It’ll give you the worst rash of your life, and it’ll bake your apples.
- This one is easy. Use soap and water. Apply antiperspirant. Brush, floss, gargle. Wear a whisper of unobtrusive cologne (I own several brands; the super-expensive fragrances don’t attract any more poon than Axe body spray)
- Imagine being with the girl you desire, deep in the first serious make-out session…. think about how intoxicating she smells, how soft her skin feels, the delicate taste of her lips….she undoes her belt, and opens the top button of her jeans… she helps you take your shirt off…. now imagine her face as she looks you over.
- Exactly. Getting in shape doesn’t happen by accident. The people constantly looking for break-through supplements or magic berries or the “fast, fun, easy way to shed pounds and tone up,” are either ignorant, lazy or both. We’re all grown-ups here…. You know that if you want results, you need to put in the effort.
- The formula is simple: Adjust your calories and work out. Be disciplined in your diet. Train strenuously and consistently.
- While sports are a fun way to stay active, there’s no substitute for working out. Improve your aerobic stamina with running, biking, swimming, skipping rope, etc. Stretch and increase your flexibility. The cornerstone of a fitness program is well-balanced progressive resistance training regimen. That’s the key to reshaping your body. (I’ll be blogging more about this in the future).
Attire / Accessories
- Remember when Miami Vice was popular? And how some guys built their wardrobe around that show? Remember when the show fell of the radar, then got canceled, and those guys were STILL wearing their pastel sport coats?
- Go through your clothes, and ruthlessly apply the 80/20 rule. That means get rid of the 80% of the shit that’s out of style, or that you never wear, or that doesn’t fit. Give it to Goodwill. Next, re-evaluate the 20% that you do wear and get rid of most of that, too.
- Surf men’s fashion magazines online, and get a feel for what’s stylish. Build your new wardrobe slowly.. no need to drop a wad of cash in a crazy shopping spree. Many fine stores have personal assistants that can guide you in the right direction.
- Accessories. Bling? Please don’t. Gaudy is never in.. Limit your rings and bracelets and necklaces. Loading up on jewelery is tacky.
- And while you might be in the position to buy an expensive watch something in the $30 range will be more tasteful, durable and functional.
Bearing. How you carry yourself. Your bearing is comprised by a lot of important factors, especially non verbal communication. Body language, posture, gait, awareness of space boundaries, facial expression and eye contact are critical.
- Stand Tall. Even though you want to project a relaxed vibe, do not slouch.
- Don’t fidget or make sudden jerky movements.
- Do not compress yourself- take up your full measure of space, but be mindful not to infringe on anyone else’s.
- Smile! Frequently. Sincerely. A counterfeit smile is easy to detect, and actually looks creepy. A genuine smile engages the eyes, not just the corners of the mouth. (My trick is to think of something that’s funny or wonderful and fix it in my mind). No need to grin every second; you’re not an idiot.
- Social Skills. How you relate to others. Of course you can get along with your friends and co-workers and family, but if you want to improve your love life, you need to take things to the next level. My first suggestion is to get your hands on “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnagie. The wisdom contained in this book is timeless. Its THE Master Text on interpersonal relations. There are plenty of other good books and programs available, too.
- Preparation. Your game-plan. Tactics and Techniques. Personally, I’m not an advocate of the strict procedural approach to picking up girls. But I do recognize that you need to build a solid theoretical framework before you can break the rules. I’ve purchased several PUA courses, attended two different boot-camps and eventually figured out what works for me. I’ll also tell you this… the technical / tactical stuff won’t work unless you take care of the other stuff first.
Remember, you own your thoughts, actions and feelings. Your happiness doesn’t depend upon anyone else’s approval. If you’re ever mindful of your blessings and continually strive to improve yourself, getting girls will be a snap.
Posted: September 9th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Inner Game / Self-Confidence | Tags: cool hobbies, dating tips for guys, dating younger women, how to attract a woman, pick up women, pickup tips, younger dating | No Comments »
Zombies. They walk the earth. They shuffle around, going through the motions – they drag themselves to work, they shuffle through stores, they distract themselves with meaningless entertainment, they numb themselves with drugs and tranquilize themselves with food.
They do their job, come home and veg, maybe get aggravated at the family, eat, sleep, shit and do it again the next day. And the day after that. In fact, this describes how most people sleepwalk through their lives.
It saddens me when I meet people who don’t have their own personal “thing”. Something they’re passionate about. Something that they DO, that gives them a UNIQUE IDENTITY. Something COOL.
It doesn’t have to be a colossal mission like tearing down “the system” -as Tyler Durden set out to accomplish in Fight Club. It might be a way to blow off some steam, express your creativity, adds value to your life, or just widens your social circle. And of course, that makes you interesting to girls.
So what sets you apart from the millions of other finance guys, middle managers, IT troubleshooters, small business owners etc? What makes you special? What’s YOUR thing?
If its cooking up meth in your kitchen or organizing travel groups to Al Quada training camps in Pakistan, you’ll get blown up and be deleted from the dating pool shortly. For everyone else, on with the show.
- Collecting Shit- stamps, beer cans of the world, bugs
- Tying fishing lures. Girls will not find this sexy.
- Gaming (WoW, Sims, Call of Duty) Amazingly popular, yes. But games are a substitute for life, not life itself.
- Being any kind of “reenactor”. Are you seriously going to wear your Civil War mutton chop sideburns all year long?
- Scrapbooking. How sentimental. Yikes.
Cool Hobbies That Chicks Like
- Playing an instrument. Almost any instrument offers multiple opportunities to get girls. (Exception- accordion)
- Dancing. (Ballroom, Swing) Chuck Lidell and Evander Hollyfield got over their fear of looking spastic, and so can you. Being able to dance gives you a major edge over your competition. You’ll have fun. You’ll meet lots of girls who will eagerly take your lead. You’ll showcase your grace & sophistication . Other guys will be standing around with their thumbs hooked in their belt and grumbling.
- Restoring Hot Rods (while grease and tools might not enthrall girls, driving a hot car does turn heads)
- Martial Arts – A guy that can take care of himself and protect his woman’s very attractive. Shop for a system that appeals to you, a qualified instructor and a good school vibe. (*Personal Prejudice: steer clear of Tae Kwon Do – its a joke).
- Learning a language. It stretches your brain.
- Travel – It expands your perspective and makes you more worldly. Plus, you can use your new language skills to pick up in other countries!
- Outdoor activities
- sailing, boating
- Cooking- “Come over to my place, I’ll cook dinner. You bring desert” Remember, most of the world’s finest chefs are men.
- Volunteering. As the saying goes, “when we are good to others, we are best to ourselves”. Find a cause you can support and get involved. The more you contribute, the more you enrich yourself.
A note of caution: At the beginning of your learning curve, your new hobby will NOT be fun. As a matter of fact, you’ll likely feel irritatingly frustrated. Fun is a function of competence, and that takes time. No one just walks into a brand new endeavor and masters it. So be prepared to stick it out for at least 6 weeks (the length of an introduction class) to 6 months (the minimum amount of time to develop some aptitude).
As for me, I’ve selected:
- Martial Arts – Ive been training over 15 years, earned several black-belts, and have done extensive cross training.
- Guitar – Started taking lessons as an adult. It did not come naturally, but with a lot of practice and the encouragement of a very patient teacher, I got pretty good. Music has added an entire new dimension to my life, and yes, its helped me get laid.
- Learning a Language- 4 months ago, I decided to learn French so I got a good software program and set aside 20 minutes to an hour every night to do the lessons. (Like anything worthwhile, it doesn’t happen by itself). It’s slow going, but I’m making progress.
I understand that there are only so many hours in a day, and that you’re tired after work, and you have responsibilities. So does everyone else. Make the time and make it happen. Or you can mill around with the rest of the zombies.
Posted: September 7th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Inner Game / Self-Confidence | Tags: attracting women, dating tips for guys, dating younger women, how to attract women, shy around women, younger dating | No Comments »
She’s stunning, fit, young and stylish, and for just one moment, she’s paused to listen to a street musician. There’s a small window of opportunity that will slam shut without warning. You know you’ll never forgive yourself if you stand silently and let her walk away. You WILL make your approach, engage her, develop rapport, pique her interest,tease, gain commitment, close for her number and be on your way.
Damn, she’s beautiful! As you take a breath and shift into GO mode, you spot 2 young bucks who’ve also locked on to the target. You hesitate for a second. In that instant, they move. You watch as they strike up a conversation, get her to laugh, and walk away together.
Sound familiar? Well, this has actually happened to me. IT SUCKS!!! It’s the result of analysis paralysis, lack of preparation, and the tandem of dream-killers, fear coupled with self-doubt.
- Attractive women get hit on everywhere, all the time. There’s competition. So what?
- Rejection is a possibility. So what.
- Uh… Erm… Duh…
If you allow yourself to be intimidated by the perception that your competition has better attributes than you, then you’ve lost before you even played. Other guys may be better built, or have leading-man looks, and they very well might have youth on their side. SO WHAT?!
Don’t you dare count yourself out. The correct information, coupled with preparation and rehearsal will get you on track. Realize – A lot of women prefer older men. Here’s why
Resources - Younger guys are just wading into the the workforce, while, you’ve swam to the deep end and made some waves. Entry level jobs = entry level pay. That’s the way it works. Men have developed careers that earn substantially more income. They’ve saved more, invested more and acquired more quality stuff.
Beware: 1- Don’t flaunt, brag, or show off. Its unattractive. 2- You don’t want to attract gold-diggers or chicks on the make for a sugar-daddy. They’ll tease you, take you for everything they can and string you along while bashing guts with her fuck-buddies.
Maturity - Females grow up faster. Males hit a level of ‘maturity’ at around 14 or 15, and pretty much stay stuck there until age 25 or so. Younger guys need “bro love” and spend too much time hanging around with their pals. They drink too much, too frequently. They often lack direction, goals and ambition. Boys get jealous. They have temper tantrums. Years season a man, tempering his character.
Beware: 1- If you’re still hanging out with the guys a few nights a week, or enjoying more than the occasional cocktail, or are prone to emotional outbursts, you have issues that need to be resolved – they’re causing you a host of problems you may not realize or want to admit. 2- “Mature” does NOT mean boring or predictable- women find spontaneity and playfulness very desirable.
Experience- For those with a desire to learn, the years bestow wisdom. Understanding of worldly things. Perspective. Wisdom. Men should have a certain sophistication, and demonstrate more polished social skills. Men have already made their rookie mistakes and have figured things out. Men know how a lady needs to be treated. And young ladies assume that men command a wide repertoire of sexual techniques.
Beware: 1- To truly evolve, you’ll need to continually question your assumptions and upgrade your knowledge. 2- No one likes a “know-it-all”; there are times to stay silent and allow others to have their opinions and make mistakes.
Security- Men are secure in themselves, and can also protect their women if need be. While young guys are still playing to the crowd and getting tangled up in gossip or high school popularity games, men avoid drama. Men aren’t needy. They know themselves and their strengths, and are confident they can handle future challenges. Men can provide the safety women crave.
Beware: 1- Even one whiff of clingieness / needieness will turn her off forever. A truly secure man can cut all ties with a woman, walk away, and never look back. And do it easily. 2- Security must be balanced with casual indifference. “Fear of Loss” is a more powerful motivator than “Hope for Gain”. To attract and keep a woman’s interest, a man must present a challenge.
From this moment forward, resolve that you will stop being a spectator, watching other people take risks, have fun, and reap the rewards. Improve yourself every day, polish your skills, and get in the game!
Posted: August 31st, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Alpha-Male, Inner Game / Self-Confidence, Random, Uncategorized | Tags: alpha male, dating tips for guys, how to flirt with women, how to pick up a woman, meeting women, mystery, pick up women, pickup artist, places to meet women, pua | No Comments »
“WHO’S THE BOSS OF YOU?”
Most of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned seem to have had an element of “ass-kicking” to them. The following lesson will improve your dating skills and hook-up percentages by 1,000% or more. But if you have a very fragile ego or delicate constitution, stop reading now. I understand that hard reality isn’t for everyone.
I’m guessing that you already realize on some level that your ‘game’ needs improvement. Maybe you’re newly single or enduring a dry spell or feel like your pick-up skills are rusty (or non-existent). Whatever the situation is, you’re dissatisfied. Good! Discomfort is an important prerequisite to change.
As an adult, you’re responsible for your feelings. And what you do about them.
Imagine you’re the CEO, taking a look at Interpersonal Relationships Division of your life. The Department of Nookie. There have been some serious problems there, and you want to see whats going on for yourself.
To your horror, you discover the place is a complete shambles. Trash strewn everywhere, obsolete technology, antiquated furnishings. There’s no activity at all; its so deserted you could safely shoot off a cannon. A couple of schlubs are moping around, their faces a mix of apathy and disgust. You grab the nearest person by the shoulders and shake them hard – you demand to know why there isn’t a frenzy of activity to pull this operation out of the toilet! In response, you get a shrug and a string of lame excuses. You get foot shuffling and blame shifting. Self justifications. Then silence.
If this happened in your company, you’d blow your stack! It would be a blood bath- you would fire everyone… you might even physically throw them out the window. You’d instantly take control and make drastic changes..
You’d make changes to the facility - clean out all the garbage, redesign the place so its efficient, sharp looking and ready to do business
Throw out the old manuals. Institute new procedures and drill everyone until they were instinctive.. Establish new operations modeled on what the most successful companies are doing to thrive in an evolving market.
From this point forward, You’d demand accountability. Daily, weekly and quarterly reports on what is being done and how much progress is being made. You will measure effort and results.
Diligence is rewarded. Failure is analyzed. Achievement is celebrated.
Momentum is built, slowly at first. With hard work, vigilance and courageous leadership, small successes lead to larger victories. You WILL turn this division around.
OK. I don’t need to beat you with this. You ARE the BOSS. You already know what to do… but I’ll lay it out for you anyway.
- Realize you can’t go back in time to change things. You cant go back 10,000 million years, you cant go back 10 seconds. Resolve that you will think and act positively and decisively. in THIS moment and EVERY moment going forward.
- Clean up the mess. All the EMOTIONAL crap – how your ex girlfriend betrayed you, how your ex wife dumped you, how your jr high crush broke your heart…. of course it hurts, but , but for god’s sake, you’re a man! Get yourself sorted out! Get therapy if you need to- that’s okay. Wallowing in the swamp is not acceptable. Clean up the PHYSICAL mess, too. GET IN SHAPE. That means fix your diet and work out! Self discipline and strenuous exertion.
- Eliminate your erroneous beliefs about relationships and ban your self-defeating behavior patterns. Face it, if they were working with for you, you’d be swimming in pussy right now. Out with the weak, in with the powerful. Remember- as the BOSS, you wouldn’t tolerate anyone on staff that wanted to slide back into the familiar but disastrous policies of yore. New thinking. New Action (we’ll go over the specifics in other posts)
- You’re not only the CEO, you’re also every member of the team. You are your own sales force, and you need to go out prospecting. Make contacts. Set Appointments. Fill the wide mouth of the sales funnel. That means: go out, meet lots of women, get phone numbers (not emails or Facebook info) and go out on dates. This is critical. If you don’t have a lot of leads, you will not write any deals.
- Be Consistent/ Hold Yourself Accountable. Getting your love life back on track is your new job. If all of this seems like work, it is! Getting laid doesn’t happen accidentally! Quality girlfriends don’t randomly find you, you have to get them. And if it seems like too much effort, or its too scary, then close up shop! Accept that you quit on yourself and resign yourself to the fact that your dismal situation wont get better, and you will remain alone and lonely.
That’s the Master Blueprint. (We’ll go over the nuts and bolts in future posts). Get the right attitude, take the correct steps in the right sequence, evaluate – adjust, build momentum..As you can see, meeting women and connecting with the right one isn’t some grand mystery. You can do this.
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