I want to draw a distinction between an “opener” and a “pick up line”. An opener is any kind of question or statement used to introduce yourself, spark curiosity / interest, and bridge into a conversation. Pick-up lines are a sub-category of openers; they’re scripted, greasy, stale attempts to get a reaction.
The idea that you can win a woman over with the right pick-up line is a widely held misconception. The classic pick-up line opener has been out of style for decades and attempting one will mark you as hopelessly out of touch. Lines fail miserably. Here’s why
- They sound canned. Because they are. She thinks: “…, and now that line has failed 1,347 consecutive times”
- She’s heard them all before. Pretty girls get hit on a lot- they’ve heard every line there is. After a while, the same routine goes from boring to aggravating. She’ll take great joy in shooting you down and then laugh at you with all of her friends.
- Lines are demeaning. Hit her with your best line and she’s going to think, “Really? I look like someone that’s going to fall for that? You think so little of me that you assume I might appreciate that old cheese?”
- They don’t offer a segue to further conversation. “Yes, my daddy was a thief. Yes, his biggest heist was stealing the stars from the heavens and putting their twinkle in my eyes. You think I have nice eyes. Thanks. You must be going now.”
- Chances are, if you’re relying on a line, you have doubts. Those insecurities are magnified and projected. Not cool.
What kind of openers DO work?
I’m not offering any surefire brand-new relationship ignition technology (although I do like the ring of that, and should trademark it before some PUA pirate steals it). Men and women have been fucking for milena, so there’s nothing new under the sun. But the following opening strategies have a considerably higher success rate than ‘lines’.
- Say something about the situation or environment. Note anything interesting, unusual or funny. (Dull: “I hate standing in lines. What about you?” Engaging: “Third time today I’ve picked the wrong line – but I have a feeling my luck’s about to turn around”)
- Pay her a SMALL but sincere compliment on something specific. (Bad: “Hey, great cans… are they natural?” Good: “The design on your jacket is wild- is it hand painted?”)
- Make a statement. Most women are fed-up with the ‘interrogation mode’ most guys get stuck in, and they don’t want to answer the same string of boring questions. A statement opens the door for her to agree or disagree. (Weak: “I see you have the new WhizBang phone” Better: ”The waitress is missing in action. We should send out a rescue team.”)
- Ask her opinion. This is also an excellent way to approach a group of women. Remember, when relating to a group, address everyone and keep your head on a swivel. In no time, you’ll ascertain who’s interested, and who’s a snarky cock-blocker so you can focus your attention on high-probability targets. (Horrific: “Ladies, let me get your opinion… can a man with a small penis please a woman?” Smooth: “Can I trouble you ladies for your opinion? It’ll take a second… my friend over there hasn’t heard from his girlfriend for three days. They’ve only been dating for a month or so. He’s already tried to call her a bunch of times… he’s worried. I say stop worrying and stop trying to contact her- this is her way of blowing you off. What do you think?”
These are just a few ideas. Remember, the opener is just one piece of the puzzle, and even the best opener won’t make up for a bad game. Men, to be successful, you’ve also got to consider: * Your mindset * The right timing * Angle of approach * The attitude you project * Your attire and accouterments * Personal space / proximity * Vocal tone and volume * Body language & eye contact * Grooming * How you smell * Ability to read and respond to social cues * Conversational fluency * How to ‘close’ * When to exit *