Posted: September 30th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Alpha-Male, Uncategorized | Tags: attract womem, date younger women, how to talk to women, pick up tips, seduce a woman, young girlfriend | No Comments »
"I'm sure every guy tells you this, but... gosh, your ear smells terrific"
Its the most important because so many men agonize over what to say, over think to the point of paralysis, or talk them down by imagining the most awful outcomes possible….. so they let a perfectly good opportunity slip. So approaching and saying something is vital – without it, nothing else happens.
Its also the least important aspect of pick up, because in a few minutes, the girl probably wont recall what you said to begin with. If a girl is interested, even a lame opener will do the trick.
Now you’ve got her attention. What next? How do you keep a conversation going? What do you say after hello?
Stalling out (especially this early) translates into an uncomfortable silence, which will filled by her saying something like, “thanks for the compliment” or “it was nice to meet you”.
Follow these guidelines and you’ll ensure things flow smoothly. *(They are especially effective for a “day game”)
- Introductions. Duh! You can just say, “Hi, I’m ______”. You can ask her “What’s your name?” (a cool trick to gauge her interest level: don’t automatically introduce yourself after you get her name- see if she asks. If she doesn’t, she’s either not into you or has weak social skills) In both situations, shake her hand. Exchanging names a great first step towards making her more comfortable.
- Shift Gears. Just totally change the subject and talk about something completely unrelated. Good comedians do this all the time and the audience doesn’t mind at all as long as the new topic is fun or interesting. “I know this is completely random, but…” “This is crazy….” “The weirdest thing just happened to me…”
- Make a Statement. Cold Read. A “cold read” is an ancient skill used by mentalists, detectives, “psychics” and pickup artists. In a nutshell, you quickly observe the subject, use your intuition, and make a pronouncement. For our purposes, it doesn’t matter if you’re on target or totally wrong! The girl you’re talking to will either ask, “how did you know that” or correct you, thus opening the way for you to explain. “I can tell you’re not from around here.” (by your style, the way you carry yourself, how fast you walk…) “You look like a local, but I’ve never seen you around before” (you seem confident, like you know your way around, the way you look at everyone as if you know them)
- Bait. Getting her to invest in the conversation by asking you a question. You’d make a statement with an unanswered implication, like “You remind me of my friend Emily” (in what way) … “I can tell a lot about you- you learn to read people when you do what I do for a living” (what do you do?)….
- Commonality. Discuss any shared link or interest. But don’t beat it to death.
- Communicate with Energy. Hey, Mr. Mellow, if you drone on, you’re going to put her in a coma. Inject some excitement and you’ll bring up her energy level as well. No need to go over the top – you might scare her.
- Listen! Drop your mouth out of over-drive and take a breath! Let her add to the conversation. That allows you to pick up on what she said and expand on it. After you say your piece, throw the ball back in her court.
Three things to avoid:
*Asking open ended questions. Examples: “So, what are you passionate about?” or “If you could travel for a year, where would you go?” Reason- its too early, and she will feel uncomfortable revealing herself to someone she’s known for just moments.
*Interviewing. Examples: “Where do you work? How do you like that? Where are you from? Why did you move here?” Everyone likes talking about themselves, but no one likes to be interrogated.
*Being too agreeable. Alpha-Males are not ‘yes men’. Don’t be afraid to question, challenge or disagree with her. (You can disagree without being disagreeable).
Once you’ve formed a bridge from the opener to a more normal conversation, all you need to do is keep it moving forward. Tease a little (breaking rapport is critical to sparking interest), qualify her a little …“oh, you’re not one of those kind of people, are you? I thought you were cool” ;-) tell her you’ve got to get going, and then get her number with an assumptive close.
You’ve heard of the horse whisperer, and the dog whisperer and even the ghost whisperer. My friend Sinn is the Vagina Whisperer. He’s consistently recognized as one of the top pick up artists in the world, but what really makes him stand out is that he specializes in teaching regular guys the skills of pick up mastery. If you want to learn the actual science of attracting women and seduction, you simply have to check his system out at SinnsOfAttraction.
Posted: August 31st, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Alpha-Male, Inner Game / Self-Confidence, Random, Uncategorized | Tags: alpha male, dating tips for guys, how to flirt with women, how to pick up a woman, meeting women, mystery, pick up women, pickup artist, places to meet women, pua | No Comments »
“WHO’S THE BOSS OF YOU?”
Most of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned seem to have had an element of “ass-kicking” to them. The following lesson will improve your dating skills and hook-up percentages by 1,000% or more. But if you have a very fragile ego or delicate constitution, stop reading now. I understand that hard reality isn’t for everyone.
I’m guessing that you already realize on some level that your ‘game’ needs improvement. Maybe you’re newly single or enduring a dry spell or feel like your pick-up skills are rusty (or non-existent). Whatever the situation is, you’re dissatisfied. Good! Discomfort is an important prerequisite to change.
As an adult, you’re responsible for your feelings. And what you do about them.
Imagine you’re the CEO, taking a look at Interpersonal Relationships Division of your life. The Department of Nookie. There have been some serious problems there, and you want to see whats going on for yourself.
To your horror, you discover the place is a complete shambles. Trash strewn everywhere, obsolete technology, antiquated furnishings. There’s no activity at all; its so deserted you could safely shoot off a cannon. A couple of schlubs are moping around, their faces a mix of apathy and disgust. You grab the nearest person by the shoulders and shake them hard – you demand to know why there isn’t a frenzy of activity to pull this operation out of the toilet! In response, you get a shrug and a string of lame excuses. You get foot shuffling and blame shifting. Self justifications. Then silence.
If this happened in your company, you’d blow your stack! It would be a blood bath- you would fire everyone… you might even physically throw them out the window. You’d instantly take control and make drastic changes..
You’d make changes to the facility - clean out all the garbage, redesign the place so its efficient, sharp looking and ready to do business
Throw out the old manuals. Institute new procedures and drill everyone until they were instinctive.. Establish new operations modeled on what the most successful companies are doing to thrive in an evolving market.
From this point forward, You’d demand accountability. Daily, weekly and quarterly reports on what is being done and how much progress is being made. You will measure effort and results.
Diligence is rewarded. Failure is analyzed. Achievement is celebrated.
Momentum is built, slowly at first. With hard work, vigilance and courageous leadership, small successes lead to larger victories. You WILL turn this division around.
OK. I don’t need to beat you with this. You ARE the BOSS. You already know what to do… but I’ll lay it out for you anyway.
- Realize you can’t go back in time to change things. You cant go back 10,000 million years, you cant go back 10 seconds. Resolve that you will think and act positively and decisively. in THIS moment and EVERY moment going forward.
- Clean up the mess. All the EMOTIONAL crap – how your ex girlfriend betrayed you, how your ex wife dumped you, how your jr high crush broke your heart…. of course it hurts, but , but for god’s sake, you’re a man! Get yourself sorted out! Get therapy if you need to- that’s okay. Wallowing in the swamp is not acceptable. Clean up the PHYSICAL mess, too. GET IN SHAPE. That means fix your diet and work out! Self discipline and strenuous exertion.
- Eliminate your erroneous beliefs about relationships and ban your self-defeating behavior patterns. Face it, if they were working with for you, you’d be swimming in pussy right now. Out with the weak, in with the powerful. Remember- as the BOSS, you wouldn’t tolerate anyone on staff that wanted to slide back into the familiar but disastrous policies of yore. New thinking. New Action (we’ll go over the specifics in other posts)
- You’re not only the CEO, you’re also every member of the team. You are your own sales force, and you need to go out prospecting. Make contacts. Set Appointments. Fill the wide mouth of the sales funnel. That means: go out, meet lots of women, get phone numbers (not emails or Facebook info) and go out on dates. This is critical. If you don’t have a lot of leads, you will not write any deals.
- Be Consistent/ Hold Yourself Accountable. Getting your love life back on track is your new job. If all of this seems like work, it is! Getting laid doesn’t happen accidentally! Quality girlfriends don’t randomly find you, you have to get them. And if it seems like too much effort, or its too scary, then close up shop! Accept that you quit on yourself and resign yourself to the fact that your dismal situation wont get better, and you will remain alone and lonely.
That’s the Master Blueprint. (We’ll go over the nuts and bolts in future posts). Get the right attitude, take the correct steps in the right sequence, evaluate – adjust, build momentum..As you can see, meeting women and connecting with the right one isn’t some grand mystery. You can do this.
**Remember, sharing is love. Stumble, Digg, Mixx, Reddit, Twitter… Thanks
Posted: August 29th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Alpha-Male, Inner Game / Self-Confidence | Tags: alpha male, attract women, dating advice, excuses, eye contact, just be yourself, personal improvement, relationship experts, virtue | No Comments »
Well meaning people often say very stupid shit. Especially in awkward situations or when trying to offer support. Maybe its because they’re embarrassed and tongue-tied. Or honestly dont have any original thoughts. Perhaps busting out a well worn cliche is the easy thing to do – gives the appearance of empathy without the effort.
By echoing something seemingly incontrovertible bon mot gives them the aura of wisdom (while they enjoy the glow of feeling superior). “Things happen for a reason” “It’ll all work out” and “Just Be Yourself”.
I can’t stand this nonsense. And I’ll usually call people on their crap as soon as they start.
Things do NOT happen for a reason. Things happen. Everyone attaches their own meaning.
Things may work out- but they might not work out in your favor.
Just Be Yourself? Well, what if you’re a sincere guy, but you’re exuding bad energy? Or you put people off because your social skills really need work? What if you’re a douchebag? (Adam Corolla prefers the term “douche nozzle”- that’s the part that gets the action).
I’ll argue that this pervasive and seemingly innocuous advice is actually very dangerous and destructive. Lots of guys have embraced the ‘just be yourself’ advice and they haven’t had a date in years.
Consensus of foolishness does not equal truth.
Who are the sages dispensing this advice, anyway? It comes from all corners – your aunt Sophie (who’s perfume is as cloying as dollar store air freshener), your single friends who’s only conquests are on World of Warcraft, your couple friends (who are too lazy, comfortable or afraid to end their lousy relationship), 16 year old ‘relationship experts’ on Facebook. Even some noted PUA coaches!
In other words, they’d have you believe that you should just be patient and wait around until your perfect match discovers you, becomes intoxicated by your wonderfulness, and …
Exactly- its total bullshit. If you’ve spend a day in business, you already know that in a cut-throat market, you need (among other things) a damn good product, a competitive advantage, and lots of marketing.
Just Be Yourself is an excuse to be lazy (“why should I work to improve when I can ‘just be myself’). Its a thin rationale to wear against the bitter cold reality that you’ve got some adjustments to make.
* Cringe-Worthy Epic Failure Confession*
The summer before my junior year of HS, I got a job at the community pool as part of the maintenance staff. Easy gig, lots of time to goof off. And some very hot lifeguard chicks. One day a bunch of people were hanging out in the common lounge after lunch.
“Kathy” – one of the hot lifeguard chicks- invited me to play chess. Whoa! Sweeeeet! While I had some basic skills at the game, I was clueless about some basic etiquette. You see, I had taken a lot of cues from my older brother and cousins, who were… complete fucking monkeys. Standard procedure for losing at a game was to toss it.
Anyway, Kathy and I chatted playfully as we made our moves. Exchanged furtive eye contact. Brushed hands accidentally while reaching for pieces.
Then she called an early checkmate…. our friends and co-workers laughed and elbowed eachother. I was smiling and laughing too – even as my arm slowly rose of its own volition and cleared the pieces to the floor! Forget about farting in church… this was pinching a loaf on the alter. ( It took an apology, an explanation, some time, and the intervention of a few buddies to get us back on track.)
So Who Should I Be?
Ah, here’s the kicker. You should be,,, you. Not “just” you, but the ideal you that embodies your highest values and best characteristics. The “uber” version of yourself – the personification of all you strive to become.
Don’t be insincere, don’t imitate a style that conflicts with your basic nature. You’ll come off as a phony and you will fail. Rightfully so. You MUST be authentic.
Shakespeare said, “Assume a virtue if you have it not”. To some degree or another, we all possess courage, enthusiasm, playfulness, curiosity, self-control, etc. In your mind, picture a fully actualized version of yourself. Fit. Confident. Relaxed. What does that look like? How does that feel? How would you act?
Well, there you have it. Stop “just” being yourself and start behaving like the person you want to become. Its a process. It requires dedication, attention, conditioning, and constant vigilance.
This isn’t about quick-fixes or slick routines. Its about fearlessly taking a personal inventory, actually writing out a balance sheet of debits and credits, and coming up with a plan of action to improving your deficiencies and maximize your strengths.
As you continue on your path of personal improvement, you’ll be surprised at how many ladies enjoy your company.