Before you open your mouth to say one word, a woman has already formed an opinion about you. On a subconscious level, she’s noticing scores of small details and making evaluations. So while you’re standing next to a beautiful girl in the check out line, (or scoping her out at a club), ramping up your courage to approach her, she may have already made a “go/no-go” decision about you.
The following list of behaviors broadcast that you feel uncomfortable, insecure and anxious. The first step towards eliminating these negative “tells” is be consciously aware of them. Once you break your bad habits you can replace them with beneficial traits that will help you attract women.
Nervous Feet. Standing with your feet too close together, coupled with shifting your weight from side to side.
FIX: Place your feet slightly wider than your shoulders. This will distribute your weight more evenly and give you a solid, more commanding stance.
Fidgety Hands, Hands in Pockets. Picking at your fingers, tearing bits of paper, etc. are no-no’s. So is stuffing your paws in your pockets.
FIX: Unobtrusively press your thumbs against the tips of your index or middle fingers and let your arms hang naturally by your sides
Fast Scanning. It gives the vibe that you’re some kind of fugitive. There really isn’t any reason to constantly assess your surroundings unless you’re expecting an enemy ambush. Fast head turns and shifty eyes do not play in your favor.
FIX: If you want to have a look around, do it very slowly. A lion surveys his kingdom with gravitas.
Poor Posture/ Slouching Think of any leading man you’ve ever seen. Not one set of hunched shoulders in the lot, is there?
FIX: Visualize your your body being pulled up into alignment by a string attached to the top of your head. Head up, shoulders square, chest out, belly in.
Looking Down Downcast eyes are a classic Beta behavior.
FIX: Keep your chin up and level and raise your line of sight to eye level.
The Serious Face This warns the world not to approach you. You’re trying to attract women, not scare them away! Save the serious for the World Poker Tournament.
FIX: Bring your awareness to your facial muscles and relax them. Lots of people hold tension in their brow or around the mouth, so just allow your face to feel completely slack. Then work on your smile.
Shielding Avoid creating barriers, such as crossing your arms, positioning yourself behind obstacles, or holding your drink in front of your chest.
FIX: Remember to keep your body language open and inviting.
Shrinking Another Beta behavior. It conveys the attitude that you’re meek, and don’t deserve to take the allotment of personal space you’re entitled to.
FIX: Lengthen and Expand. Stand tall, and give yourself some elbow room. Be BOLD (here’s how) Spread out a bit. But please don’t lounge out on 3 chairs like a tool.
You’ll need to be vigilant and remind yourself constantly at the outset. Reprogramming your posture, bearing, carriage, expression, etc will take a bit of time. No one has to know that you’re over-writing your own codes, but as you do, they will take notice.
"I'm sure every guy tells you this, but... gosh, your ear smells terrific"
Its the most important because so many men agonize over what to say, over think to the point of paralysis, or talk them down by imagining the most awful outcomes possible….. so they let a perfectly good opportunity slip. So approaching and saying something is vital – without it, nothing else happens.
Its also the least important aspect of pick up, because in a few minutes, the girl probably wont recall what you said to begin with. If a girl is interested, even a lame opener will do the trick.
Now you’ve got her attention. What next? How do you keep a conversation going? What do you say after hello?
Stalling out (especially this early) translates into an uncomfortable silence, which will filled by her saying something like, “thanks for the compliment” or “it was nice to meet you”.
Follow these guidelines and you’ll ensure things flow smoothly. *(They are especially effective for a “day game”)
Introductions. Duh! You can just say, “Hi, I’m ______”. You can ask her “What’s your name?” (a cool trick to gauge her interest level: don’t automatically introduce yourself after you get her name- see if she asks. If she doesn’t, she’s either not into you or has weak social skills) In both situations, shake her hand. Exchanging names a great first step towards making her more comfortable.
Shift Gears. Just totally change the subject and talk about something completely unrelated. Good comedians do this all the time and the audience doesn’t mind at all as long as the new topic is fun or interesting. “I know this is completely random, but…” “This is crazy….” “The weirdest thing just happened to me…”
Make a Statement. Cold Read. A “cold read” is an ancient skill used by mentalists, detectives, “psychics” and pickup artists. In a nutshell, you quickly observe the subject, use your intuition, and make a pronouncement. For our purposes, it doesn’t matter if you’re on target or totally wrong! The girl you’re talking to will either ask, “how did you know that” or correct you, thus opening the way for you to explain. “I can tell you’re not from around here.” (by your style, the way you carry yourself, how fast you walk…) “You look like a local, but I’ve never seen you around before” (you seem confident, like you know your way around, the way you look at everyone as if you know them)
Bait. Getting her to invest in the conversation by asking you a question. You’d make a statement with an unanswered implication, like “You remind me of my friend Emily” (in what way) … “I can tell a lot about you- you learn to read people when you do what I do for a living” (what do you do?)….
Commonality. Discuss any shared link or interest. But don’t beat it to death.
Communicate with Energy. Hey, Mr. Mellow, if you drone on, you’re going to put her in a coma. Inject some excitement and you’ll bring up her energy level as well. No need to go over the top – you might scare her.
Listen! Drop your mouth out of over-drive and take a breath! Let her add to the conversation. That allows you to pick up on what she said and expand on it. After you say your piece, throw the ball back in her court.
Three things to avoid:
*Asking open ended questions. Examples: “So, what are you passionate about?” or “If you could travel for a year, where would you go?” Reason- its too early, and she will feel uncomfortable revealing herself to someone she’s known for just moments.
*Interviewing. Examples: “Where do you work? How do you like that? Where are you from? Why did you move here?” Everyone likes talking about themselves, but no one likes to be interrogated. *Being too agreeable. Alpha-Males are not ‘yes men’. Don’t be afraid to question, challenge or disagree with her. (You can disagree without being disagreeable).
Once you’ve formed a bridge from the opener to a more normal conversation, all you need to do is keep it moving forward. Tease a little (breaking rapport is critical to sparking interest), qualify her a little …“oh, you’re not one of those kind of people, are you? I thought you were cool” ;-) tell her you’ve got to get going, and then get her number with an assumptive close.
You’ve heard of the horse whisperer, and the dog whisperer and even the ghost whisperer. My friend Sinn is the Vagina Whisperer. He’s consistently recognized as one of the top pick up artists in the world, but what really makes him stand out is that he specializes in teaching regular guys the skills of pick up mastery. If you want to learn the actual science of attracting women and seduction, you simply have to check his system out at SinnsOfAttraction.
We all Want to Believe. We Need to Believe – but its that very need that allows us to fall prey to the world’s con artists. All a thief needs is a reasonable sounding line of shit and some knowledge on how to exploit the human psyche to get people to line up and hand over their hard earned money.
The dating / seduction arena (like every other arena) is packed with scammers making big promises. Before your hopes get the better of your common sense, lets take a look at the facts.
Subliminal Audio- First, let me ask.. in your mind, how do you tell a story where you and the girl you like are alone in a quiet place where you can crank up the audio of the hottest new release for her to groove to – layers of nature sounds and erie background whispers. It sounds ludicrous because it is. Not to mention that there is virtually zero empirical evidence that subliminal messages work – if they did, they’d be used by every advertiser, every retail outlet, every politician, etc, and there would be PR agencies that specialize in that sort of thing. There aren’t.
NLP – Short for neuro linguistic programing- which is in itself, very difficult to define (even by the nlp experts themselves). NLP states that you can change a person’s behavior by changing the language they use (plausible). They also assert that you can read a persons body language, or use your body language to affect others. This in fact can be done – but its more of an art than an science, and has to do more with social intelligence than anything else. Can a magic phrase, a special inflection and a raised eyebrow turn an indifferent girl into a nympho? Not a chance in hell.
Pheromone Colognes. Pheromones are chemicals that elicit a social response among members of the same species , They are very real and abundant in both the plant world and animal kingdom alike. The real question: is there a commercially available fragrance that attracts women? The real answer: NO. If you want to give the pheromone aphrodisiac theory a whirl, you don’t need to wear the equivalent of Rhesus monkey ball-sweat…. just stop wearing antiperspirant.
Any Penis Enlargement / Male Enhancement Scam. They are ALL scams. 1) Your penis is probably ‘normal’ so you can relax. The average male unit is around 6” when erect (give or take half an inch). What you’ve got is what you’ve got. Accept it. 2) There is no ointment, herb, vitamin that will make it bigger. There’s no FDA oversight for nutritional supplements, so you might be ingesting ground up spiders and dried goat-shit. 3) Yanking, tugging, stretching, pumping your penis WILL DAMAGE YOUR PENIS!!! 4) If you read the horrific description of the surgical procedures some butchers doctors preform, your legs would snap together and you’d grab your package like you were protecting the Hope Diamond.
If you’re looking for insight into how women think, you might be tempted to ask some of your female buddies just what they look for in a man. Or you might read some books written by female Ph.D’s or “relationship experts” who explain in great depth how the double X chromosome psyche works. Seems logical enough- you want an answer, you go to the source. And if you do this, and take their advice, you’ll be damning yourself loneliness, frustration and confusion
The reason is that what women SAY they want and what they actually are attracted to are TOTALLY DIFFERENT. Most of them don’t even realize this. For the few that do, social conventions dictate they want one thing (a nice,sensitive, stable guy) when they secretly yearn for another (a guy who’s a challenge, who’s a little dangerous).
If you’ve bought into the deception, you’re probably making some fatal mistakes with women. You might be making the same mistakes over and over – hell, I know I did. When I finally reached the limit of heart-ache, I began to observe how relationships developed in the REAL world (not the Lifetime Movie Network world), and I consulted with men who were REAL EXPERTS and who were getting the results i wanted.
TRYING TOO HARD
This is a biggie. A guy will often try to impress a girl. He’ll try to entertain her constantly. Fill in all the conversational gaps. Call, email and text all the time. Re-affirm commonalities and tell her what a great couple they’d make. Hit her with non-stop compliments.
All of this puts a tremendous amount of pressure on a girl and is guaranteed to drive her away. Think about it – how do you feel in any situation where someone is trying to grease you up and hard sell you? Put off? Suspicious? Exactly.
Remember what Chris Rock said: “No body sells crack. Crack sells itself”
Girls are attracted to men who pose a challenge. Guys that are confident and independent enough to stand on their own. You MUST let her feel as if she’s earning your interest. An occasional compliment is fine – but you have to balance that with (playful) teasing to put her on the defensive a bit. You have nothing to prove. And don’t be too accessible, either. Remember- a budding romance seldom dies of starvation, but is often killed by indigestion.
ADMITTING YOUR FEELINGS
You think, “maybe she just doesn’t understand how much I like her. If she only knew what was in my heart, she wouldn’t have any doubts and could open her heart to me”. So you tell her. Now she won’t return your calls. Gads! I’ve actually done this!
One of the immutable laws of relationships is that the person who cares less has more power! That holds true at the start and it holds true 10 years down the line. Of course you need to let her know that you’re into her, but she needs to feel the very real possibility that at any moment, you could walk away. That feeling of uncertainty is a critical component in passion. If you admit you care for her first, or care for her most, you ll tip the scales in her favor and she will cool on you.
The next time you feel the need to look her in the eyes and express your feelings… SHUT UP! Say less, and you won’t say the wrong thing!
MOVING TOO FAST
So you’ve been on a few dates and thing are going really well. Maybe you’ve even taken her to bed. That does NOT mean you are a couple. Do NOT assume you can just drop by her place on Friday night and hang out.
Relationships take time to build. You cant just slap together a few dates and think you’ve got something that’s solid. Be patient. Be elusive. Let her wonder where you stand. That means sometimes, you will have other plans (even if you don’t). It means you return every other call and every third text. If you chase, she will run.So don’t chase.
If you’re continually getting ditched, or meeting girls who want to be ‘friends’ not lovers, and if you’re fed up, its time to make some changes. Humans are ruled by EMOTION, and they justify their actions with LOGIC. If you want success with women, you need to play to their psychology: pique their curiosity, be playful, position your value, use the scarcity principle, tease, be unpredictable, etc.
Don’t try so hard. Play your cards close to your vest, and care less than she does. Say less. Take your time, let her come to you. Be a challenge. TAKE SOME RISKS. You’ll be glad you did.
What type of relationship do you want? Do you want a harem? A few reliable FB’s? Looking for one special person?
Some men want to rack up numbers. The want the excitement of the chase, the thrill of the conquest, the satisfaction each notch brings.
Other men don’t want the hassle of meet a constant stream of new women- but they still relish variety. They enjoy the company of a few ladies. No agendas, no strings; just fun.
Then there are those who just want to connect with one quality woman. A special lady they can commit to and settle down with. A person to share their life with.
If you’re looking for a stable of women, you’ve got to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to go out and hustle all the time. You’re only going to “close” a small percentage of women you meet, so you have to meet lots and lots of women.
But if want a “soul-mate”.. that one person who will be your perfect compliment, then you have to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to hustle. Remember the structure of the sales funnel – many leads, less qualified prospects, a few buyers. The “sniper” approach (where you set your sights on just one target) is ludicrous; because like the song says, “you can’t always get what you want”. If you invest all your resources in sparking something with one lady, you’ll be back to zero if the relationship doesn’t catch and you have an empty pipe-line.
What type of girl are you attracted to? They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, flavors and personality profiles. At life’s buffet, sampling is a wonderful thing. You steer clear of the things you don’t like and go back for more of what you do.
I personally don’t believe in the concept of the “perfect soul-mate”. I think everyone has a checklist of things that are important to them, and there are scores of candidates that possess those qualities in varying degrees. There were times as a young man when I was nursing a heart-ache after a break-up with the “perfect girl”. Then I’d meet some other girl, who also had attributes I liked in a different ratio, and I’d start going out with her.
Point being: there are lots of girls who’ll fit your criteria – you have to know what kind of girls you’re looking for so you don’t waste energy chasing the wrong ones.
I’d caution you not to be too specific in your checklist, though, because you’ll be missing out on a lot of great opportunities to meet and date wonderful, quirky, cute girls who would appreciate your company.
For me, the checklist went like this:
REQUIRED – No Negotiation
Must be born female (no hermaphrodites, no Franken-ginas,)
Not currently married (been there, and its not worth the risk of getting shot)
No contagious diseases or active addictions (speaks for itself)
Height in proportion to weight (a nice way of saying no anorexics, no fatties)
Sense of humor (and more specifically, who understands mine)
Younger than me (I love puppies. *shrug*)
So think about what kind of girls you’re attracted to, what type of relationship you’d like to be in , and what price you’re willing to pay in order to make it happen. Knowing what you want is the first step towards meeting the girl of your dreams
This post deals with the 7 essential factors you simply must attend to BEFORE you go out into the field to pick up women.
Even though it feels crappy to step back and admit some flaw, that’s the first step towards self-improvement -which is a very noble pursuit. You don’t need to achieve perfection before your approach a woman; just honestly work on making improvements. You do want every advantage, don’t you?
Look at some old pictures. If you still have the same hairstyle, you need to get your ass in a barber’s chair ASAP. An inappropriate coif broadcasts that you’re lamentably out of touch. With a spiffy new doo, you’ll look better, feel better and actually carry yourself better.
If you’ve got a mullet, or worse yet, a skullet (bald on top, long in back, aka Hulk Hogan), your lack of self awareness is a problem; you are the object of scorn and derision . Same for the comb-over… you’re not fooling anyone, and everyone is laughing at you. Long hair / pony tails are only acceptable if you’re a licensed yoga instructor or a professional musician (keep in mind that even Bon Jovi and Metallica cut their hair). Over 30 and still sporting a mop-top? Its sloppy, my friend. If you’re tired of waiting for the bald spot in back to meet up with your receding hairline, take some initiative and shave your head. Its a lot cooler.
Pay special attention to your eyebrows, as well as hair in your ears and nose. Invest $15, get a trimmer and use it. Today.
Facial Hair- some men can get away with it. Most can’t. Its not really a happening look- think of the guys that have facial hair: homeless guys, Mall Santas (see ‘homeless guys’), mountain men, orthodox jews, Colonel Sanders, …. Moustaches are either novelties (outlaw biker Fu-Manchu, Snidley Whiplash) or will make you look like a cop.
Manicure- some men do, some men don’t; its up to you. At the very least, your nails should be nicely trimmed and free of any grease or dirt.
Body Hair – There are a dozen different systems to help a guy clean up. But even if you embrace your hairy-guy genetics, you MUST to clean up the hair on your neck and shoulders. Stripping off all body hair is only acceptable for competitive body-builders and swimmers.
NEVER use Nair on your apple bag. It’ll give you the worst rash of your life, and it’ll bake your apples.
This one is easy. Use soap and water. Apply antiperspirant. Brush, floss, gargle. Wear a whisper of unobtrusive cologne (I own several brands; the super-expensive fragrances don’t attract any more poon than Axe body spray)
Imagine being with the girl you desire, deep in the first serious make-out session…. think about how intoxicating she smells, how soft her skin feels, the delicate taste of her lips….she undoes her belt, and opens the top button of her jeans… she helps you take your shirt off…. now imagine her face as she looks you over.
Exactly. Getting in shape doesn’t happen by accident. The people constantly looking for break-through supplements or magic berries or the “fast, fun, easy way to shed pounds and tone up,” are either ignorant, lazy or both. We’re all grown-ups here…. You know that if you want results, you need to put in the effort.
The formula is simple: Adjust your calories and work out. Be disciplined in your diet. Train strenuously and consistently.
While sports are a fun way to stay active, there’s no substitute for working out. Improve your aerobic stamina with running, biking, swimming, skipping rope, etc. Stretch and increase your flexibility. The cornerstone of a fitness program is well-balanced progressive resistance training regimen. That’s the key to reshaping your body. (I’ll be blogging more about this in the future).
Attire / Accessories
Remember when Miami Vice was popular? And how some guys built their wardrobe around that show? Remember when the show fell of the radar, then got canceled, and those guys were STILL wearing their pastel sport coats?
Go through your clothes, and ruthlessly apply the 80/20 rule. That means get rid of the 80% of the shit that’s out of style, or that you never wear, or that doesn’t fit. Give it to Goodwill. Next, re-evaluate the 20% that you do wear and get rid of most of that, too.
Surf men’s fashion magazines online, and get a feel for what’s stylish. Build your new wardrobe slowly.. no need to drop a wad of cash in a crazy shopping spree. Many fine stores have personal assistants that can guide you in the right direction.
Accessories. Bling? Please don’t. Gaudy is never in.. Limit your rings and bracelets and necklaces. Loading up on jewelery is tacky.
And while you might be in the position to buy an expensive watch something in the $30 range will be more tasteful, durable and functional.
Bearing. How you carry yourself. Your bearing is comprised by a lot of important factors, especially non verbal communication. Body language, posture, gait, awareness of space boundaries, facial expression and eye contact are critical.
Stand Tall. Even though you want to project a relaxed vibe, do not slouch.
Don’t fidget or make sudden jerky movements.
Do not compress yourself- take up your full measure of space, but be mindful not to infringe on anyone else’s.
Smile! Frequently. Sincerely. A counterfeit smile is easy to detect, and actually looks creepy. A genuine smile engages the eyes, not just the corners of the mouth. (My trick is to think of something that’s funny or wonderful and fix it in my mind). No need to grin every second; you’re not an idiot.
Social Skills. How you relate to others. Of course you can get along with your friends and co-workers and family, but if you want to improve your love life, you need to take things to the next level. My first suggestion is to get your hands on “How To Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnagie. The wisdom contained in this book is timeless. Its THE Master Text on interpersonal relations. There are plenty of other good books and programs available, too.
Preparation. Your game-plan. Tactics and Techniques. Personally, I’m not an advocate of the strict procedural approach to picking up girls. But I do recognize that you need to build a solid theoretical framework before you can break the rules. I’ve purchased several PUA courses, attended two different boot-camps and eventually figured out what works for me. I’ll also tell you this… the technical / tactical stuff won’t work unless you take care of the other stuff first.
Remember, you own your thoughts, actions and feelings. Your happiness doesn’t depend upon anyone else’s approval. If you’re ever mindful of your blessings and continually strive to improve yourself, getting girls will be a snap.
I want to draw a distinction between an “opener” and a “pick up line”. An opener is any kind of question or statement used to introduce yourself, spark curiosity / interest, and bridge into a conversation. Pick-up lines are a sub-category of openers; they’re scripted, greasy, stale attempts to get a reaction.
The idea that you can win a woman over with the right pick-up line is a widely held misconception. The classic pick-up line opener has been out of style for decades and attempting one will mark you as hopelessly out of touch. Lines fail miserably. Here’s why
They sound canned. Because they are. She thinks: “…, and now that line has failed 1,347 consecutive times”
She’s heard them all before. Pretty girls get hit on a lot- they’ve heard every line there is. After a while, the same routine goes from boring to aggravating. She’ll take great joy in shooting you down and then laugh at you with all of her friends.
Lines are demeaning. Hit her with your best line and she’s going to think, “Really? I look like someone that’s going to fall for that? You think so little of me that you assume I might appreciate that old cheese?”
They don’t offer a segue to further conversation. “Yes, my daddy was a thief. Yes, his biggest heist was stealing the stars from the heavens and putting their twinkle in my eyes. You think I have nice eyes. Thanks. You must be going now.”
Chances are, if you’re relying on a line, you have doubts. Those insecurities are magnified and projected. Not cool.
What kind of openers DO work?
I’m not offering any surefire brand-new relationship ignition technology (although I do like the ring of that, and should trademark it before some PUA pirate steals it). Men and women have been fucking for milena, so there’s nothing new under the sun. But the following opening strategies have a considerably higher success rate than ‘lines’.
Say something about the situation or environment. Note anything interesting, unusual or funny. (Dull: “I hate standing in lines. What about you?” Engaging: “Third time today I’ve picked the wrong line – but I have a feeling my luck’s about to turn around”)
Pay her a SMALL but sincere compliment on something specific. (Bad: “Hey, great cans… are they natural?” Good: “The design on your jacket is wild- is it hand painted?”)
Make a statement. Most women are fed-up with the ‘interrogation mode’ most guys get stuck in, and they don’t want to answer the same string of boring questions. A statement opens the door for her to agree or disagree. (Weak: “I see you have the new WhizBang phone” Better: ”The waitress is missing in action. We should send out a rescue team.”)
Ask her opinion. This is also an excellent way to approach a group of women. Remember, when relating to a group, address everyone and keep your head on a swivel. In no time, you’ll ascertain who’s interested, and who’s a snarky cock-blocker so you can focus your attention on high-probability targets. (Horrific: “Ladies, let me get your opinion… can a man with a small penis please a woman?” Smooth: “Can I trouble you ladies for your opinion? It’ll take a second… my friend over there hasn’t heard from his girlfriend for three days. They’ve only been dating for a month or so. He’s already tried to call her a bunch of times… he’s worried. I say stop worrying and stop trying to contact her- this is her way of blowing you off. What do you think?”
Most of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned seem to have had an element of “ass-kicking” to them. The following lesson will improve your dating skills and hook-up percentages by 1,000% or more. But if you have a very fragile ego or delicate constitution, stop reading now. I understand that hard reality isn’t for everyone.
I’m guessing that you already realize on some level that your ‘game’ needs improvement. Maybe you’re newly single or enduring a dry spell or feel like your pick-up skills are rusty (or non-existent). Whatever the situation is, you’re dissatisfied. Good! Discomfort is an important prerequisite to change.
As an adult, you’re responsible for your feelings. And what you do about them.
Imagine you’re the CEO, taking a look at Interpersonal Relationships Division of your life. The Department of Nookie. There have been some serious problems there, and you want to see whats going on for yourself.
To your horror, you discover the place is a complete shambles. Trash strewn everywhere, obsolete technology, antiquated furnishings. There’s no activity at all; its so deserted you could safely shoot off a cannon. A couple of schlubs are moping around, their faces a mix of apathy and disgust. You grab the nearest person by the shoulders and shake them hard – you demand to know why there isn’t a frenzy of activity to pull this operation out of the toilet! In response, you get a shrug and a string of lame excuses. You get foot shuffling and blame shifting. Self justifications. Then silence.
If this happened in your company, you’d blow your stack! It would be a blood bath- you would fire everyone… you might even physically throw them out the window. You’d instantly take control and make drastic changes..
You’d make changes to the facility - clean out all the garbage, redesign the place so its efficient, sharp looking and ready to do business
Throw out the old manuals. Institute new procedures and drill everyone until they were instinctive.. Establish new operations modeled on what the most successful companies are doing to thrive in an evolving market.
From this point forward, You’d demand accountability. Daily, weekly and quarterly reports on what is being done and how much progress is being made. You will measure effort and results.
Diligence is rewarded. Failure is analyzed. Achievement is celebrated.
Momentum is built, slowly at first. With hard work, vigilance and courageous leadership, small successes lead to larger victories. You WILL turn this division around.
OK. I don’t need to beat you with this. You ARE the BOSS. You already know what to do… but I’ll lay it out for you anyway.
Realize you can’t go back in time to change things. You cant go back 10,000 million years, you cant go back 10 seconds. Resolve that you will think and act positively and decisively. in THIS moment and EVERY moment going forward.
Clean up the mess. All the EMOTIONAL crap – how your ex girlfriend betrayed you, how your ex wife dumped you, how your jr high crush broke your heart…. of course it hurts, but , but for god’s sake, you’re a man! Get yourself sorted out! Get therapy if you need to- that’s okay. Wallowing in the swamp is not acceptable. Clean up the PHYSICAL mess, too. GET IN SHAPE. That means fix your diet and work out! Self discipline and strenuous exertion.
Eliminate your erroneous beliefs about relationships and ban your self-defeating behavior patterns. Face it, if they were working with for you, you’d be swimming in pussy right now. Out with the weak, in with the powerful. Remember- as the BOSS, you wouldn’t tolerate anyone on staff that wanted to slide back into the familiar but disastrous policies of yore. New thinking. New Action (we’ll go over the specifics in other posts)
You’re not only the CEO, you’re also every member of the team. You are your own sales force, and you need to go out prospecting. Make contacts. Set Appointments. Fill the wide mouth of the sales funnel. That means: go out, meet lots of women, get phone numbers (not emails or Facebook info) and go out on dates. This is critical. If you don’t have a lot of leads, you will not write any deals.
Be Consistent/ Hold Yourself Accountable. Getting your love life back on track is your new job. If all of this seems like work, it is! Getting laid doesn’t happen accidentally! Quality girlfriends don’t randomly find you, you have to get them. And if it seems like too much effort, or its too scary, then close up shop! Accept that you quit on yourself and resign yourself to the fact that your dismal situation wont get better, and you will remain alone and lonely.
That’s the Master Blueprint. (We’ll go over the nuts and bolts in future posts). Get the right attitude, take the correct steps in the right sequence, evaluate – adjust, build momentum..As you can see, meeting women and connecting with the right one isn’t some grand mystery. You can do this.
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