Posted: September 18th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: date younger women, dating advice for men, dating tips for guys, dating younger women, how to ask out a girl, how to get a girlfriend | No Comments »
What type of relationship do you want? Do you want a harem? A few reliable FB’s? Looking for one special person?
Some men want to rack up numbers. The want the excitement of the chase, the thrill of the conquest, the satisfaction each notch brings.
Other men don’t want the hassle of meet a constant stream of new women- but they still relish variety. They enjoy the company of a few ladies. No agendas, no strings; just fun.
Then there are those who just want to connect with one quality woman. A special lady they can commit to and settle down with. A person to share their life with.
If you’re looking for a stable of women, you’ve got to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to go out and hustle all the time. You’re only going to “close” a small percentage of women you meet, so you have to meet lots and lots of women.
But if want a “soul-mate”.. that one person who will be your perfect compliment, then you have to be willing to put in massive amounts of time and effort. You’ve got to hustle. Remember the structure of the sales funnel – many leads, less qualified prospects, a few buyers. The “sniper” approach (where you set your sights on just one target) is ludicrous; because like the song says, “you can’t always get what you want”. If you invest all your resources in sparking something with one lady, you’ll be back to zero if the relationship doesn’t catch and you have an empty pipe-line.
*Fortunately, there ARE ways to streamline the process and maximize your rewards.
What type of girl are you attracted to? They come in all shapes, sizes, colors, flavors and personality profiles. At life’s buffet, sampling is a wonderful thing. You steer clear of the things you don’t like and go back for more of what you do.
I personally don’t believe in the concept of the “perfect soul-mate”. I think everyone has a checklist of things that are important to them, and there are scores of candidates that possess those qualities in varying degrees. There were times as a young man when I was nursing a heart-ache after a break-up with the “perfect girl”. Then I’d meet some other girl, who also had attributes I liked in a different ratio, and I’d start going out with her.
Point being: there are lots of girls who’ll fit your criteria – you have to know what kind of girls you’re looking for so you don’t waste energy chasing the wrong ones.
I’d caution you not to be too specific in your checklist, though, because you’ll be missing out on a lot of great opportunities to meet and date wonderful, quirky, cute girls who would appreciate your company.
For me, the checklist went like this:
REQUIRED – No Negotiation
- Must be born female (no hermaphrodites, no Franken-ginas,)
- Not currently married (been there, and its not worth the risk of getting shot)
- No contagious diseases or active addictions (speaks for itself)
- Height in proportion to weight (a nice way of saying no anorexics, no fatties)
- Sense of humor (and more specifically, who understands mine)
- Younger than me (I love puppies. *shrug*)
- Easy going
So think about what kind of girls you’re attracted to, what type of relationship you’d like to be in , and what price you’re willing to pay in order to make it happen. Knowing what you want is the first step towards meeting the girl of your dreams
Posted: September 2nd, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Inner Game / Self-Confidence | Tags: approach anxiety, best places to meet women, confidence with women, how to ask out a girl, how to get a girlfriend | No Comments »
As you’ve already determined, I’m not a big believer in “Quick Fixes” and “Magic Solutions”. Everyone wants the fast , free, fun and easy. Me too. I also realize that in the real world, it usually takes work to get results. Fortunately, the following tips ARE easy to implement. Follow the plan and you’ll conquer approach anxiety forever.
Approach Anxiety is VERY normal. Meeting women can be *gasp* scary! Most men experience this fear to some degree But if your fears are crippling you or having a significantly detrimental impact on your life, you might want to seek out professional help.
This section will address your “pre-game” – how to prepare yourself mentally.
- THE POWER OF NEGATIVE THINKING. We’ve all heard of the Power of Positive thinking. Its great stuff. There’s also something to be said for doing the opposite! If you’re setting the bar too high, your subconscious won’t accept the the new programming and will rigister a ‘conflict error’. Instead, try setting LOW expectations.Seriously. It’ll take the pressure off you. Plus, they’re easier to achieve. Taking small actions will break your paralysis and help you build momentum-
- ACCEPT REJECTION. You’ve probably heard it back in Little League: “You can’t get a hit with the bat on your shoulder”. Top salesmen get rejected all the time. The best Pick Up Artists in the world get shot down all the time (although they never post those vids on YouTube). The secret of the champions is- they don’t let “failure” get to them (well, not for long, anyway). The worst failure not even trying. Maybe you’ll get rejected. So what? Next!
- WHAT’S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN? Yes, on occasion you’ll hear a guy ask that question before he gets a fragmentation grenade suppository. But lets be analytical for a moment- you approach a girl, and for any one of 1,00 legitimate reasons (she really is married, she really is in a rush, whatever), things don’t go your way. SO WHAT? The IRS isn’t going to audit you, you aren’t going to face public ridicule, you aren’t going to jail… the worst thing you may experience is a brief moment of awkwardness. SO WHAT?
- THE CUT. Remind yourself that YOU are also evaluating HER. If she’s rude, shrill, immature, humorless, you don’t want her anyway.
- ONE GIRL / ONE VOTE. One girl’s opinion does not constitute a universal female consensus. Some girls will not dig you. So what? Lots of girls do, lots more will. Focus on them.
GETTING INTO THE GAME. Slooooowly. Easy does it.
- REHEARSAL Now its time for an ‘in-field’ assignment. Its and easy one. For a few days, allocate some time to people watching. Streets, restaurants, stores, everywhere. Observe women. Then pick one you’d like to meet, note any opportunities for an approach and think about what you’d say to her. No need to be clever- just think situational. Do this at least a dozen times or more, and in your head, play out different scenarios. Visualize yourself being relaxed, confident and cool. This exercise will get you to realize that you actually can go up to a total stranger and start a conversation. (Told you it would be easy)
- HIT AND RUN CONGENIALITY. For a day or two, say hello and smile at everyone you pass. Hot girls, old ladies, couples, people shopping in the supermarket. Simple. Just “hi” or “hello” or “good morning”…. a second of eye contact, a smile, and keep walking. You’re outta there. There may be a few people that don’t hear you, or are so up in their head that they don’t process what’s happening, and there may some people that look right at you and scowl. Fuck ‘em. That’s their deal, not yours. The vast majority of people will appreciate the fleeting instant of positive energy you gave them. (That wasn’t so bad, was it?)
- FOLLOW THROUGH. The next step is an effortless transition. Just put the pieces together. Spot a girl, catch the timing, make your approach, say hello and try out some of the openers you’d been going over in your head. Your goal here is a few moments of engaging conversation. As a matter of fact, it might be a good idea to set a 3 minute limit on each interaction and keep yourself to it. Especially if things are going well.
“I’ve really got to go – it was a real pleasure to meet you. What was your name?” Repeat it back and shake her hand. “Take care of yourself. Bye” Smile and leave. This puts you in control and makes you stronger.
Just a few final thoughts:
- Keep your expectations reasonable. At this point, you’re not looking to land anyone in bed. You’re not even trying to close phone numbers. In other words, there is no possibility of failure.
- Take your time doing the exercises and allow your courage to build.
- Keep it Playful, Keep it Light, Keep it Fun. Yes, dark, brooding bad-boys do get their share of women but they operate within an entirely different pickup structure. Don’t concern yourself with that for now.
- KISS. Forget about complicated routines or memorized sets. Keep It Super Simple.
There. I don’t need to wish you luck because now you have a plan. Work it and get back to me with the results.