Posted: October 5th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Random, Uncategorized | No Comments »
Before you open your mouth to say one word, a woman has already formed an opinion about you. On a subconscious level, she’s noticing scores of small details and making evaluations. So while you’re standing next to a beautiful girl in the check out line, (or scoping her out at a club), ramping up your courage to approach her, she may have already made a “go/no-go” decision about you.
The following list of behaviors broadcast that you feel uncomfortable, insecure and anxious. The first step towards eliminating these negative “tells” is be consciously aware of them. Once you break your bad habits you can replace them with beneficial traits that will help you attract women.
- Nervous Feet. Standing with your feet too close together, coupled with shifting your weight from side to side.
FIX: Place your feet slightly wider than your shoulders. This will distribute your weight more evenly and give you a solid, more commanding stance.
- Fidgety Hands, Hands in Pockets. Picking at your fingers, tearing bits of paper, etc. are no-no’s. So is stuffing your paws in your pockets.
FIX: Unobtrusively press your thumbs against the tips of your index or middle fingers and let your arms hang naturally by your sides
- Fast Scanning. It gives the vibe that you’re some kind of fugitive. There really isn’t any reason to constantly assess your surroundings unless you’re expecting an enemy ambush. Fast head turns and shifty eyes do not play in your favor.
FIX: If you want to have a look around, do it very slowly. A lion surveys his kingdom with gravitas.
- Poor Posture/ Slouching Think of any leading man you’ve ever seen. Not one set of hunched shoulders in the lot, is there?
FIX: Visualize your your body being pulled up into alignment by a string attached to the top of your head. Head up, shoulders square, chest out, belly in.
- Looking Down Downcast eyes are a classic Beta behavior.
FIX: Keep your chin up and level and raise your line of sight to eye level.
- The Serious Face This warns the world not to approach you. You’re trying to attract women, not scare them away! Save the serious for the World Poker Tournament.
FIX: Bring your awareness to your facial muscles and relax them. Lots of people hold tension in their brow or around the mouth, so just allow your face to feel completely slack. Then work on your smile.
- Shielding Avoid creating barriers, such as crossing your arms, positioning yourself behind obstacles, or holding your drink in front of your chest.
FIX: Remember to keep your body language open and inviting.
- Shrinking Another Beta behavior. It conveys the attitude that you’re meek, and don’t deserve to take the allotment of personal space you’re entitled to.
FIX: Lengthen and Expand. Stand tall, and give yourself some elbow room. Be BOLD (here’s how) Spread out a bit. But please don’t lounge out on 3 chairs like a tool.
You’ll need to be vigilant and remind yourself constantly at the outset. Reprogramming your posture, bearing, carriage, expression, etc will take a bit of time. No one has to know that you’re over-writing your own codes, but as you do, they will take notice.
Posted: September 5th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Random, Uncategorized | Tags: approach anxiety, dating advice for men, how to approach women, how to ask out a girl, how to meet women, pickup lines, where to meet women, younger dating | No Comments »
I want to draw a distinction between an “opener” and a “pick up line”. An opener is any kind of question or statement used to introduce yourself, spark curiosity / interest, and bridge into a conversation. Pick-up lines are a sub-category of openers; they’re scripted, greasy, stale attempts to get a reaction.
The idea that you can win a woman over with the right pick-up line is a widely held misconception. The classic pick-up line opener has been out of style for decades and attempting one will mark you as hopelessly out of touch. Lines fail miserably. Here’s why
- They sound canned. Because they are. She thinks: “…, and now that line has failed 1,347 consecutive times”
- She’s heard them all before. Pretty girls get hit on a lot- they’ve heard every line there is. After a while, the same routine goes from boring to aggravating. She’ll take great joy in shooting you down and then laugh at you with all of her friends.
- Lines are demeaning. Hit her with your best line and she’s going to think, “Really? I look like someone that’s going to fall for that? You think so little of me that you assume I might appreciate that old cheese?”
- They don’t offer a segue to further conversation. “Yes, my daddy was a thief. Yes, his biggest heist was stealing the stars from the heavens and putting their twinkle in my eyes. You think I have nice eyes. Thanks. You must be going now.”
- Chances are, if you’re relying on a line, you have doubts. Those insecurities are magnified and projected. Not cool.
What kind of openers DO work?
I’m not offering any surefire brand-new relationship ignition technology (although I do like the ring of that, and should trademark it before some PUA pirate steals it). Men and women have been fucking for milena, so there’s nothing new under the sun. But the following opening strategies have a considerably higher success rate than ‘lines’.
- Say something about the situation or environment. Note anything interesting, unusual or funny. (Dull: “I hate standing in lines. What about you?” Engaging: “Third time today I’ve picked the wrong line – but I have a feeling my luck’s about to turn around”)
- Pay her a SMALL but sincere compliment on something specific. (Bad: “Hey, great cans… are they natural?” Good: “The design on your jacket is wild- is it hand painted?”)
- Make a statement. Most women are fed-up with the ‘interrogation mode’ most guys get stuck in, and they don’t want to answer the same string of boring questions. A statement opens the door for her to agree or disagree. (Weak: “I see you have the new WhizBang phone” Better: ”The waitress is missing in action. We should send out a rescue team.”)
- Ask her opinion. This is also an excellent way to approach a group of women. Remember, when relating to a group, address everyone and keep your head on a swivel. In no time, you’ll ascertain who’s interested, and who’s a snarky cock-blocker so you can focus your attention on high-probability targets. (Horrific: “Ladies, let me get your opinion… can a man with a small penis please a woman?” Smooth: “Can I trouble you ladies for your opinion? It’ll take a second… my friend over there hasn’t heard from his girlfriend for three days. They’ve only been dating for a month or so. He’s already tried to call her a bunch of times… he’s worried. I say stop worrying and stop trying to contact her- this is her way of blowing you off. What do you think?”
These are just a few ideas. Remember, the opener is just one piece of the puzzle, and even the best opener won’t make up for a bad game. Men, to be successful, you’ve also got to consider: * Your mindset * The right timing * Angle of approach * The attitude you project * Your attire and accouterments * Personal space / proximity * Vocal tone and volume * Body language & eye contact * Grooming * How you smell * Ability to read and respond to social cues * Conversational fluency * How to ‘close’ * When to exit *
Posted: September 4th, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Random | No Comments »
**This post, and all others concerning “older men & younger women” deal with consenting adults of legal age. Nobody wants Chris Hansen knocking on their door
Welcome to the age of Sensitivity. Diversity. Tolerance. “Odd” couples are now commonplace… Its perfectly acceptable for two people to find and express their love if they come from different races, worship different gods, speak different languages, come from different cultures. Skinnies and Fatties? Awwww, that’s sweet. NBA players and midgets? Whatever floats your boat. Got a homosexual life-partner? Bring ‘em to the party! It’s all good!
But there’s still a taboo surrounding inter-generational romances. Bring a younger date to a polite social and you’ll see the veneer of enlightened smiles turn into scowls of reproach.
You might get criticized by total strangers, family and even friends. So be it. Life is short – I refuse to be bullied by other peoples hang-ups.
I’ve been friends with “Dawn” for years. We don’t keep any secrets and have been there for each other through some major events. Some time ago, we were having a glass of wine and catching up after a few months.
I was rather surprised at her reaction when I told her about my new & improved dating life. She was doing her best not to let me see her disapproval, but it was obvious. “Wow,” she said. “I mean, you’re dating girls young enough to be your daughter….” I sat quietly and offered no defense. After a moment, she added reflectively, “Then again, I was out of the house at 17, living with a 42 year old guy….”
I like younger women. Most men do. Its not Politically Correct statement, bu it IS reality. Its a hardwired into our genetic code. (This is why “teen” cheerleader/schoolgirl /babysitter porn is wildly popular, and “grannie porn” is a small, weird sub-niche fetish.)
- According to evidence discovered by researchers at Stanford and the University of California-Santa Barbara, the preference of older men for younger women contributes to human longevity and the survival of our species
- Martin Fieder (University of Vienna) & Susanne Huber (University of Veterinary Medicine, also in Vienna, Austria), have determined that a 15 year age gap may be optimal for couples raising multiple children.
In and of itself, a taste for younger women doesn’t indicate a psychological problems. Conversely there is a statistical percentage of chicks that have a “daddy” thing going on. It doesn’t even have to be an “Electra Complex” or any kind of complex, it might just be that girl’s inclination. Again, it isn’t necessarily a flag for pathology.
So relax. Liking younger women is perfectly normal.
That said, its important to keep the following in mind:
- You’ve got to be realistic. A fat, broke, 50 year old guy with a comb-over and low social status is NOT going to score a smoking hot 21 year old coed. You’d you want to play you’d better bring something to the table.
- There may be a more limited pool of candidates for you to choose from.
- Let your action speak louder than your words. Don’t talk about your desires for hot young girls – get yourself together, be classy- and actually date some.
Posted: August 31st, 2010 | Author: dio | Filed under: Alpha-Male, Inner Game / Self-Confidence, Random, Uncategorized | Tags: alpha male, dating tips for guys, how to flirt with women, how to pick up a woman, meeting women, mystery, pick up women, pickup artist, places to meet women, pua | No Comments »
“WHO’S THE BOSS OF YOU?”
Most of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned seem to have had an element of “ass-kicking” to them. The following lesson will improve your dating skills and hook-up percentages by 1,000% or more. But if you have a very fragile ego or delicate constitution, stop reading now. I understand that hard reality isn’t for everyone.
I’m guessing that you already realize on some level that your ‘game’ needs improvement. Maybe you’re newly single or enduring a dry spell or feel like your pick-up skills are rusty (or non-existent). Whatever the situation is, you’re dissatisfied. Good! Discomfort is an important prerequisite to change.
As an adult, you’re responsible for your feelings. And what you do about them.
Imagine you’re the CEO, taking a look at Interpersonal Relationships Division of your life. The Department of Nookie. There have been some serious problems there, and you want to see whats going on for yourself.
To your horror, you discover the place is a complete shambles. Trash strewn everywhere, obsolete technology, antiquated furnishings. There’s no activity at all; its so deserted you could safely shoot off a cannon. A couple of schlubs are moping around, their faces a mix of apathy and disgust. You grab the nearest person by the shoulders and shake them hard – you demand to know why there isn’t a frenzy of activity to pull this operation out of the toilet! In response, you get a shrug and a string of lame excuses. You get foot shuffling and blame shifting. Self justifications. Then silence.
If this happened in your company, you’d blow your stack! It would be a blood bath- you would fire everyone… you might even physically throw them out the window. You’d instantly take control and make drastic changes..
You’d make changes to the facility - clean out all the garbage, redesign the place so its efficient, sharp looking and ready to do business
Throw out the old manuals. Institute new procedures and drill everyone until they were instinctive.. Establish new operations modeled on what the most successful companies are doing to thrive in an evolving market.
From this point forward, You’d demand accountability. Daily, weekly and quarterly reports on what is being done and how much progress is being made. You will measure effort and results.
Diligence is rewarded. Failure is analyzed. Achievement is celebrated.
Momentum is built, slowly at first. With hard work, vigilance and courageous leadership, small successes lead to larger victories. You WILL turn this division around.
OK. I don’t need to beat you with this. You ARE the BOSS. You already know what to do… but I’ll lay it out for you anyway.
- Realize you can’t go back in time to change things. You cant go back 10,000 million years, you cant go back 10 seconds. Resolve that you will think and act positively and decisively. in THIS moment and EVERY moment going forward.
- Clean up the mess. All the EMOTIONAL crap – how your ex girlfriend betrayed you, how your ex wife dumped you, how your jr high crush broke your heart…. of course it hurts, but , but for god’s sake, you’re a man! Get yourself sorted out! Get therapy if you need to- that’s okay. Wallowing in the swamp is not acceptable. Clean up the PHYSICAL mess, too. GET IN SHAPE. That means fix your diet and work out! Self discipline and strenuous exertion.
- Eliminate your erroneous beliefs about relationships and ban your self-defeating behavior patterns. Face it, if they were working with for you, you’d be swimming in pussy right now. Out with the weak, in with the powerful. Remember- as the BOSS, you wouldn’t tolerate anyone on staff that wanted to slide back into the familiar but disastrous policies of yore. New thinking. New Action (we’ll go over the specifics in other posts)
- You’re not only the CEO, you’re also every member of the team. You are your own sales force, and you need to go out prospecting. Make contacts. Set Appointments. Fill the wide mouth of the sales funnel. That means: go out, meet lots of women, get phone numbers (not emails or Facebook info) and go out on dates. This is critical. If you don’t have a lot of leads, you will not write any deals.
- Be Consistent/ Hold Yourself Accountable. Getting your love life back on track is your new job. If all of this seems like work, it is! Getting laid doesn’t happen accidentally! Quality girlfriends don’t randomly find you, you have to get them. And if it seems like too much effort, or its too scary, then close up shop! Accept that you quit on yourself and resign yourself to the fact that your dismal situation wont get better, and you will remain alone and lonely.
That’s the Master Blueprint. (We’ll go over the nuts and bolts in future posts). Get the right attitude, take the correct steps in the right sequence, evaluate – adjust, build momentum..As you can see, meeting women and connecting with the right one isn’t some grand mystery. You can do this.
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